Bumper Sticker Fun

Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ASS?

If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!

Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole

Your gene pool needs a little chlorine.

You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!

DON'T PISS ME OFF! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES

JESUS SAVES..They Pass It To Gretzky..He Shoots.. He..Scores!

Jesus is coming! Look busy!

You are depriving some poor village of its IDIOT

Save Your Breath ... You'll need it to blow up your date!

Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.

My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom

GROW YOUR OWN DOPE, PLANT A MAN

All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.

So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute.

I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

All men are idiots....I married their king.

The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.

IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.

Out of my mind...Back in five minutes.

Hang up and drive.

Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Where there's a will...I want to be in it.

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Don't drink and drive...You might hit a bump and spill your drink.

We are born naked, wet, and hungry....Then things get worse.

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Be nice to your kids...They will pick out your nursing home.

Always remember you're unique...Just like everyone else.

Honk If You Want To See My Finger

100,000,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest?

If the rapture occurs, can I have your car?

Friends don't let friends vote Republican

I love cats ... they taste just like chicken

Cover me. I'm changing lanes.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools

Happiness is a belt-fed weapon

Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather...Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car ...

Montana-At least our cows are sane!

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!

My son got your honor student pregnant

My name is Cannon and I suck.

When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.

When there's a will, I want to be in it!

Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?

If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy comes from!

Forget about World Peace...Visualize Using Your Turn Signal !

Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

He/She who laughs last thinks slowest

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

i souport publik edekasion

We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'...till you can find a rock.

2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.

I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles.

3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

If you're not the lead dog, the scenery never changes.